I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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