dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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