I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize