I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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