I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
