...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
