We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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