She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
