Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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