oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
