Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
