I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
