I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
