Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
