You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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