i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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