Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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