I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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