we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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