First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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