i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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