This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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