i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
