If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Liz is crying about burritos again.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
