Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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