Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
