craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
