that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
