What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
