sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
