1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
