did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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