Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
