god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and she was petting her beer can
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Randomize
