I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
