I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
