she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize