its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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