Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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