He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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