Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
