8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
