hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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