**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize