Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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