I look better un-naked...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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