i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
