just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
