Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize