if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
