Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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