you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
