He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize