I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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