Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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