good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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