Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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