I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This is the high leading the old right now
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
