My liver just broke up with me...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
