ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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