i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We need to get me chipped asap
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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