At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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