Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
