So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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