just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
